Long Gone And Moved On

It was my birthday last week and due to the fact that I am now 32 I was more than happy for it to pass in relative silence, with minimal fuss.

I had a nice enough day by all accounts but one thing that was noted was the lack of cards sent from my so called best friends.  I felt a little stupid by all acounts, I had asked Gavin to just book a nice table somewhere for just us two, that's all I wanted, but come late afternoon when I hadn't heard a thing from anyone I thought maybe he had booked it as a suprise and everyone would be there and they were all pretending to forget my birthday.
What a fool I am.

I was relieved when we arrived at the restaurant to be seated at a table for two because I wasn't feeling overly sociable, but then it dawned on me that my friends had forgotten my birthday.  I wasn't angry, far from it, I was simply hurt.  Hurt by the fact that I had become so unimportant in their lives now that they wouldn't even think to send me a text message at least.

It was only when we returned home and I made a comment on Facebook that people decided to make contact.  I didn't feel like returning calls or texts, I didn't want to listen to half baked excuses and mountains of bullshit. 
It turned out that going to bingo was more important than making any effort to get a card to me on my birthday.  Fair enough.

It's funny how people change.  How you can be so close one day and then in almost the blink of an eye you get forgotten about, replaced by someone who is a little more fun, a little more available.  I feel that me and Gavin get penalised because we work shifts and can't always do something or be somewhere.  We don't work 9-5 and so sometimes we slip off the social radar, it's something I have come to accept over the last few years but forgetting my birthday really hurt my feelings and even a week later it makes me feel sad.

I know people have busy lives, I know there are always a million and one things going on but what does it take to send a text or make a quick phone call?  Nothing, but a little effort would be my answer. 
Obviously I'm not worthy of that.

I always thought it was strange that my mom and dad didn't have many friends but as I get older I can see why.  If you don't let people in they can't hurt you.  If they are not in your life they cannot bring you pain.  This has been a long hard realisation but one that I'm fast coming round too.
I have a few close friends, maybe two who would always be there for me, who won't hurt me, who wouldn't forget my birthday and maybe that's all I need?

As for the rest?  Well they will want me long before I want them!

Todays song title was brought to you by The Script